Swept up into an unexpected storm. The wind, the wind.
It howled, shrieked, laughed into my face. It slammed into
me, invisible. Any good thoughts I had were quickly blown
away by that horrible force. Now waves. Vicious, angry
swells rose above me, mocking my sense of self. The
waves stood overhead, towering with hands-on-hips
confidence. As each wave began to crash down upon me,
I swear it looked into my soul, and then gave me a lips-curled,
snarling grin. Hit after hit I endured, focused only on the next
attack from the cruel torrent. Any good in my life was quickly
forgotten, even to the point of why I stepped into this boat.
This boat, filling with water. A torturous symphony of
screaming wind. Percussive pounding marked the waves. The
weight of water nearly undid me. Sinking. Dark, foaming, swirling
water pulls. Downward. In a final cry out of anger, I ask God
if He is even aware what is happening to me? My life is in
turmoil! Is this when you choose to sleep? While I drown? Where
is Your help? And then I hear Peace. Peace to the fierce
storm of your wandering heart. To the anxiousness that keeps
you awake, peace. To the doubts that weigh you down, peace.
Peace to the rumination that spins and swirls. To the depressive
thoughts that try and pull you under, peace. To your frantic eyes
that cannot see ahead, peace. Peace to your mistrust, and to the
past that has caused you to fear, and peace to your home.
It is not sinking.
Where is your faith, my love?