If Only I Could (tell you how I feel)

If I may…

be so bold as to come before your throne and ask

honest questions, make observations in earnest, or something like that. I don’t know which, yet.

I mean no disrespect, and certainly wouldn’t raise a ruckus, but there I was kneeling low…

asking for kindness, a word of healing.

Your sensitive eyes were shielded from the bright clouds of glory. My eyes were bare. My soul…the same. What I didn’t see blinded me.

Did you hear me?  Were you there? Or did something important pull you away?Did I ever feel at arms length in that moment.  You weren’t near.

This clouded, silent day chills to the bone.

Left cold.

Caring not for January.

My heart aches. Can you tell? (if you’re watching at all)

I feel like the chaff. Separate. Blown away. Stuck in your hair.  Shaken off. Dare I say…  Unnecessary.

The words feel strange on my tongue. Cutting and sharp.

It may sound harsh, even drastic, but this is how I’m feeling right now.

Tossed to the wind. An Echo.

Narcissus and Echo

Narcissus and Echo
John William Waterhouse, 1903


6 responses to “If Only I Could (tell you how I feel)

  1. Unnecessary? Hmm, I know that feeling. Thanks.


  2. Thanks for reading, John.


  3. I know this feeling. All too well. And for me, February is the worst month for it. I hope the echo thing begins to lessen soon. Spring often helps, doesn’t it?


  4. My heart and life always appreciates and welcomes those who write, speak, and live from a deep soul of candor and struggle and hope, even in the darkness. Thank you. Thank you.


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