Thoughts on a Long Drive Home

old-car-keys-guy-jean-genevier

One day in desperation I asked God to help find my car keys. My car keys. This was my solemn prayer. Our Father. And I found them. They were once lost and now they are found. God is good when I find my stuff. Certainly God loves the sparrow and how much more does He love me … that I might find the things I misplace? Especially when I ask. Hallowed be Thy name. Heavily packaged prayer requests come my way. Will you pray for…? Impossible things. God is good when miracles happen. Everything is possible with God. Heal the hurt. Ease the pain. Cure the disease. Fix it please. Kingdom Come. Hoping His will matches the request. And yet… Sometimes they don’t. Hearts break and we ask Why? Thy will be done. I’ve been told not to ask questions. We cannot comprehend the things of God. And that would be right. For Thine is the Kingdom. But still, I ask. I ask. We pray and pray and– not this, anything but this. God is good when things are fair.  I find myself driving to a dream-broken house to hug, to hold, to pray. Look in the eyes when asked, Why? The only response, I don’t know. …For Thine is the Power. Keys sweaty in my palm. Earthly hopes lie empty in another’s hand. Still I wonder why sparrows survive. And I wonder why people find their keys at all… while someone else’s heart breaks. God is good when I get my way. On the long drive home I see a dead bird on the side of the road. God saw it first. He made it, knew it, cared for it and called it good. He also knew the microsecond it dropped. A mourning dove. The mourning family. I continue to drive, to weep, and to pray. Not a car-key prayer. The sort of prayer that comes up retching from the guts. In this moment my belief, doubt and faith collide. Shouting and screaming, it spills out. Anger and praise. A strange combination. Somehow, someway the truth always comes around.  …For Thine is the Glory. God is good whether I think so or not.  It’s never been about outcomes. He may not always seem nice or fair, and I’ll probably continue to ask, “Why this but not this?”  The answers might not come, but the truth remains. God is still good. 

Forever and Ever. Amen.

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2 responses to “Thoughts on a Long Drive Home

  1. I pray those car key prayers too. God is good all the time as you say. But we don’t always get our way. Maybe God doesn’t always get God’s way. That is the Bible’s view. God doesn’t always get God’s way — yet. But since only God and those things which are of God are eternal, the losses are redeemed in glory. That’s my nutshell way of understanding the mystery of God’s love in the midst of loss.

    Like

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